What if Cleopatra's Son had Lived?

My students are doing Julius Caesar in my English class. I don't know how many remember this Shakespearean gem but it's not the easiest play to teach. No teenage lovers, no cross gendered farces, or crazy sons seeing the ghosts of their fathers. No. A political drama. Sweet. So I bribe them by watching the TNT version of Julius Caesar to get them ready. I figure if I give them blood and gore, they'll let me hammer them with Shakespearean remorse for killing one's best friend.

While watching the movie this time (which makes no mention whatsoever of the Egyptian queen) I started looking up Cleopatra on my own. I mean, I'd seen the movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton and (clearing throat) Rex Harrison. So where did she fall in in the story? Through this little journey I found out a few facts I hadn't known before:

1.) Cleopatra was not Egyptian. She was Greek. In fact, the Greeks had controlled Egypt for three hundred years and she was one of the only rulers who had actually taken the time to learn the language.

2.) She was twenty when Julius Caesar marched in planning to take Egypt. He'd taken everywhere else and fresh off of the triumph of Gaul and having taken the armies of Pompey (his former son in law). He was 51 (a military leader. In Roman Times. 51! Incredible). She knew she couldn't keep him out so she went to meet him to welcome him.

3.) 9 months later, she had a son. A son! Julius Caesar and Cleopatra had a son -- his only son and one of his only children.

4.) When he marched Cleopatra and his son back to Rome, she became one of the most hated women in Rome. Even Cicero recorded the loathing of the people towards this mistress who was sure Julius Caesar would name her son -- his son -- as heir, that she would one day rule Rome. But then, the Senators stabbed him and Caesar had already named his nephew Octavius.

5.) When she went back to Egypt, she named her son "king of Kings" to spite Octavius.

6.) We know that Mark Antony came to her defense when Octavius marched on Egypt, we know that they became legendary lovers and that they both killed themselves when it became clear that Octavius would take Egypt. But did we all know that Mark Antony was actually married to Octavius's daughter?!

So. Cleopatra killed herself with an Asp and sent her son to a neighboring friendly country who sold him to Octavius who of course killed him. Or did he? It's interesting food for thought. No one actually knows how Caesarean met his end which is interesting considering that we know how everyone else ended their legendary times on earth. This was Caesar's only son and not just a son, a son with famed Cleopatra -- what a kid! So... the story goes that Augustus (Octavius) Caesar said "One Caesar too many" and strangled the 17 year old boy but... I'm not convinced. Why do it? Especially when you owed the kid's father everything? And he had no one and was only 17? Sure, he could have come back and gathered armies, if he survived

I like to think that we don't know how he died because Octavius wanted it that way. Because maybe the famed son of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar did live, that he did things we can't even imagine.

I like to think this because Octavius is grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt grandpa. And Mark Antony is too. And Caesarean is my ggggrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaat cousin.

Dear Paul McCartney

... there are no words for the euphoria enjoyed on March 31st at the Hollywood Bowl. I'll be honest, it seemed unthinkable that you and I could share a moment when I used to stare at old vinyl records in 7th grade that were already 20 years old. You've been the man in my life. The Beatles have been my stalwart, magical uncles always there, picking me up, dusting me off, "Come on girl... it's not that serious..." and there you were again. You and me. And you were telling me the same things you've always told me but they mean more now. Because you're older. I'm older. The advice, the fact that we've carried on and that the messages are still the same -- it all means more now. I'm glad I didn't see you when I was fifteen and crazy for you. I'm glad I didn't see you when it would have been convenient in my 20's . You weren't ready. You couldn't bear to sing those songs yet, to hear those words again. I wasn't ready. There was still so much of my life you were going to see me through. I needed to go through it and I did. I'm still alive. So are you. And we're on the other side of so much now. Thank you for scanning the audience, for embracing the messages, for being there again, and ever, and always.

You'll never know.

Or maybe you do.

ps. Thanks to Corissa who made it all possible, for kicking my butt, for telling me it was time.

Harry Potter Should Have Ended Up with Hermione...

... and other things you wish would have happened in JK Rowling's beloved series.

If you've never read the Potter series because you think it will be too juvenile or it doesn't appeal to you, after all you're not into that magic stuff.... how sad we all are for you. To say that the series is genius is an understatement of the grandest proportions. When has it ever happened that men and women and boys and girls have all agreed on a single subject and have all become equally rabid in their devotion of one thing? Very rarely. Even more rarely with books. I can't even think of another that competes in this equal opportunity cross genres. We all know that Potter saved the YA market for books and may have even saved publishing altogether.

This is all stuff we know. Well, recently, I've undertaken a Harry Potter movie marathon. It's been a long time since I've watched the films and I've never done it back to back. It's been thrilling and now that the series is over, now that we know exactly what significance everything had, I'd like to open a discussion on what we WISH would have happened or the inconsistencies that we see in the series, the things we wish we could do over.

I'll start off:

1.) While reading, I totally bought the Hermione and Ron thing up until the last book (please... we waited all that time for one lousy, rushed kiss) but now... now, rewatching and rereading it seems absolutely preposterous that Harry does not end up with Hermione, the only girl he has consistent contact with or a growing relationship. And really? While Ginny is brave, there is no other personality except that she gets with tons of boys to get Harry's attention..?

2.) What's up with these super powerful Order of the Phoenix/Dumbledore wizards not being able to take out the Death Eaters once and for all? Harry Potter comes in with "stupefy" and takes out Voldemort about six times in the series. Hmmm... "Hogwarts is impenetrable!" Except of course for a Basalisk who's existed there for CENTURIES and no one's noticed or a room where all Death Eaters meet to have tea, cookies, war councils...

3.) What's with Draco always challenging Harry? Um.... Harry defeated Voldemort about a thousand times, won the Tri-Wizard tournament, killed a basalisk... blah, blah... pretty sure everyone (especially the kids whether they hated him or not) would have been in terrified awe. But then again, everyone's astonished every time he does something because he's, after all, only a 3rd year so... par for the course.

4.) And finally, the ending... * clears throat.... um... necessary? She kills about, oh, half the good guy population in annonymus, pointless deaths but all the death eaters live. Except for Bellatrix, who, by the way wasn't killed by Neville but whatever. No happy "Yeah! Voldemort's gone! Open Diagon Alley! Let's celebrate! Like in the beginning of Book One". None of that.

These are my thoughts.

Any of yours?

WEIGHT WATCHERS, ANYONE?

Ok. So I know that this is off the beaten track when it comes to my book blogging but -- the presses need to be stopped because I've got a little story that needs to be told.

Things have gotten a little out of hand. The fat jeans are no longer the fat jeans, if you know what I'm saying. I stopped recognizing myself in grocery store mirrors weeks ago. But it was the pic of two ham like arms and breasts that hung approximately to my knees that made me go into cardiac arrest. And also made me start Weight Watchers. I have a theory that EVERYONE knows Weight Watchers. And the "points". So I joined the website. I put in the points consumed at the Tea House for a baby reception. I thought it was the responsible thing to do. Why not find out how many points were left before dinner... because... after all... I wouldn't want, you know, to go OVER.

Daily Points allowed: 25

Daily points consumed by 2:00 in the afternoon: 72

72

Without dinner

Um... yeah.

Goodbye cruel world

UNSTINKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!

So. Some of you don't know my secret, very deep, abiding love for Remington Steele, the fabulous detective series in the '80's. I mean -- love.

We're talking, stay-up-until-midnight-to -tape -the episodes-before -the -days-of tivo love. Get off early from work love.

And there have been encounters. Or at least one. A friend of mine took me to a concert for Loreena McKennit in 1994. I almost declined the date to stay home to watch Remington Steele. Yeah. I'm serious. But I went. And much to the chagrin of my date, of the 100 people in the audience --PIERCE BROSNAN -- was there. And it was embarrassing. I was embarrassing.

But I digress.

Today, my friend Susan (the follower of all things Pierce) sent me a link to an MTV article about Conan O'Brien's tweet saying he's been spending his days watching Remington Steele -- naked -- drowning his sorrows. Susan got this article from PIERCE BROSNAN'S site who googled it to all his fans. In the article they list a link to a cheestatic video and guess what folks... IT'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The video I made is in an article by MTV. And Pierce sent this article. To all his fans. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check it out! http://newsroom.mtv.com/2010/03/02/conan-obrien-twitter-pierce-brosnan/

CONGRATS TO VELVET FOR WINNING THE JANE AUSTEN ADDICT GIVEAWAY!

After a tragic week of a broken computer (and no posts -- sniff, sniff!) I am happy to announce in my very first post from my brand new MAC computer that Velvet has won the "Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict" giveaway!!! Thanks to everyone for participating and be sure to check back for the next big giveaway!

Review: The Foundling by Georgette Heyer

The set up: It's hard being Gilly. Everyday well meaning servants and family members dress him, feed him, advise him, watch over him and insure that no harm comes to the "little" duke. And while the Most Noble Adolphus Sillespie Vernon Ware, Duke of Sale and Marquis of Ormesby; Earl of Sale; Baron Ware of Thame; Baron Ware of Stoven; and Bare Ware of Rufford is thankful that his uncle saved him from certain death after the death of his own parents and raised him as his own son, just once, he'd like to do something he'd like to do. Being the Duke of this and that feels more like a prison than a pleasure and when he is forced into an engagement with the kind and honorable Lady Harriet, he feels more trapped than ever.

The Opportunity: However, life for his lesser known cousins is not so privileged and when Gilly learns of a plot to blackmail his youngest cousin, Matt, he sees this as his one and only opportunity to travel out into the world, without his safety net of wealth and connection, in order to set things right. He is determined to be a hero. What he finds is that riding coaches is more glamourous in theory, as are most hotels and highwaymen. Beautiful young women aren't always desirable and life takes more thinking on your feet than he'd ever imagined. After a series of laugh out loud moments, Gilly learns that life as a Duke does have its advantages and that little Harriet who he felt rather ambivalent about might be the greatest gift of his life. Most importantly, Gilly finally has the chance to be a man and rises to the ocassion masterfully.

I give this book 5 stars. I LOVED it. I read it in one night and there were moments where I truly did laugh out loud. The dialogue was not so slow and archaic as in other Heyer novels and the plot twists, genuinely applaudable. I enjoyed every minute . The well drawn characters and the sense of adventure felt so much like David Copperfield (my favorite book of all time) without the tragedy. Finally, I love books in which the hero and heroine find themselves recognizing the other not at first, but at last, when they get a chance to appreciate just who they have in the other. Heyer does that here in spades. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous!